Dysorder & Dysease

by Practice To Deceive

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credits

released 14 August 2012
Tyler Kollinok – Rhythm Guitars, Drums and Percussion, Bass Guitar, Vocals, Additional Midi Keyboards
Marc Rizzo – Lead Guitars
Josh Leifer - Slap Bass on Track 2
Kira Burdman - Vocals on Track 4
Mark Friedman - Sax solo on Track 5
Sebastian Rollo - Piano on Track 5
Katie Salvi - Album Artwork

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Track Name: Finding Yourself
Verse 1
Building reliance upon what consumes your soul
Turning your intellect to a crisp charcoal
Burning your aspirations, and hunger to try
Spending all your treasured time just to get high

Pre-Chorus
Above who you really are
Do you even know?

Chorus
Misusing
Won’t bring an escape
Wasting time
Struggling with finding yourself

Verse 2
Shooting into an empty vessel just to live
Facing controlling forces that won’t forgive
Begging for mercy from the inner selfishness
Crying aloud for more of what you obsess

Pre-Chorus
Overlooking the reason
For a given life

Chorus (Part 2)
Stare into
The bottom of a bottle
Distorted
View of the shell, you have become
Track Name: Another Side of Him
Verse 1
Since he was born he has always been told, he’s lived with despair
Destructive decisions are all he knows and has been raised with
The ignorance of people around him will never get it
Because when he wants to retreat he goes somewhere no one goes

Prechorus
An influence such as this will transform him
Can he be free or stay a slave to his stress?
He’ll think he overcame the war within him
Just as his thoughts go blank, he’s no longer the same

Chorus
When he’s asleep another side of him
Awakes and takes control over all of his body
Thoughts race around about all the thing he’s missed
And which part really does exist

Verse 2
Take a look back at his past, just to see, the coldness he faced
Was it the treatment that he had received that made him so numb?
He hid the bruises from his friends and peers, to avoid questions
Since nothing could be done to change his fate, the damage was done

PreChorus
He broke his soul into all different pieces
An attempt to escape from hell in his home
But as he changes into a new person
Will it be suicide or a murder case?
Track Name: Desire
Verse 1
You’ve finally done it, have you?
You found the girl that cares who
Will do everything for you and she’ll be there
But is it really enough
When what she does isn’t rough
Like what you imagined from such relations

TV and movies teach that
It’s best to act like a rat
To influence her mind to follow your lead
But will she have the power?
Face more than you allow her
Is it still her choice or has it become your own?


Pre-Chorus
Making her feel uncomfortable
Is not your main intention
Maybe she’s the one that’s confused
Why you force your self on her

She is yours now, make her know
Stop at nothing, get your fill

Chorus
Desire builds for the touch of her skin
Whether she’s ready or not to let you in
Your thoughts corrupted by your selfish dreams
You’ll always get what you want so it seems

Verse 2
Now that you have all her trust
Replace her love with your lust
It doesn’t matter if you crush all her faith
Is it a constant need for
A girl to act like a whore
For you to give her all of your attention

Will you accept rejection
When she decides to mention
She isn’t quite prepared to take the next step
Or maybe you want to fight
To prove your needs are just right
For such a bond to progress any bit further

Pre-Chorus 2
You should leave the poor girl alone
She feels pressured, understand
Make this time with her feel special
Prevent rushing in too fast

Need for pleasure consumes you
Take this moment, make it count

Pre-Chorus 3
You are taking all this too far
Let her go now, don’t do this
Her life won’t be the same again
Don’t break her soul with this act

Now it’s time to take what’s yours
She looks so much weaker bound
Track Name: A Bleaker Shade
Chorus
Walking away
From the world
They want him to stay
But he feels alone

Those he has left
In the dark
All wondering why

No one will know
Where he goes
If he’s survived
Demons in his mind

What he had seen
In his life
Was a bleaker shade

Verse 1
Lay down in bed, nothing left to make him want to seize the day,
And not one of his friends seem to come to his aid when he needs it

PreChorus 1
Disconnecting brings back more despair
No one remains to really care
The pain inside, no one can see
As he gives up on what he wants to be

Verse 2
All of his days have been spent looking back upon, his regrets
And now he doesn’t know how to rid himself of the weight, he holds

PreChorus 2
He seems to be taking advantage
Of life he’s told that he can’t manage
But he needs to understand that he
Won’t always be stuck in atrocity.
Track Name: Grief
Denial
Things may look dark
But I’m holding onto the life
That I have known
Nothing will change
I will repair all the broken
Feelings we have,
Losing loneliness

Things are much better when we are together, you see
You won’t ever leave
Me on my own against the hate you’ve shown ‘cause I know
You’ll be mine

People will say
Everything we’ve had will now fade
Time to move on
But they don’t know
All of the things that we’ve been through
And that I know
Time will heal the wounds

I’ll get the chance to have this one last dance, and I’m sure
You will never endure
My effort to get up from the dirt and again
Win your heart

Anger
I am done with you

Everything I have done for you now, doesn’t mean shit anymore
Wasting my time only to feel used isn’t worth all the pain

Hatred isn’t what I look for. But it seems to still find me.

So sick. Of all. Of your bullshit. And the. childish headgames.
You play. With me. You are. Such a. goddamn.
Psychopath

Rip in and tear at my skin. I’ll walk through your hell, just trying to prove
That all these burns won’t kill me. But it won’t mean you, won’t be thrown to the fire

Every time I have to look at you, you try to get in my head
Foolish of you to want to be in such a disturbing place
Stop me before I do something I will regret later. My mood can be really extreme and so dangerous

Rip in and tear at my skin. I’ll walk through your hell, just trying to prove
That all these burns won’t kill me. I’m stronger than I may seem.
Stand my ground. To prove myself. And my rage

Bargaining
I’ll walk to all ends of the earth
Just to get one chance
Do whatever you’d want me to
So I could go back

If I have to change who I am, I would gladly
Come on, and take a risk here, gamble with me
The stakes will rise and rise as I await your move
Who wins when you have to bargain the price?

Feeling this feeling that you can’t contain
Do anything to make it go away

What the hell do I have to do?
Get down on my knees?
To get you to listen to me
And to realize

Tired of trying to somehow change your mind
But it seems that no offer will comply

Depression
When will the darkness end? Clouds hover everything that once made you who you are, concealing any gleam of faith or care. The drive that once fueled all of your motivation has come to a sudden halt. What did this to you? How could you let your passion be taken away?
Does this describe the way you feel?
If the answer is yes, you aren’t alone. In fact, you’re never alone. As soon as everything is falling apart, sometimes you’ll believe that no one will ever be able to pick up the pieces. Perhaps this is because of your current mental state. When enduring any form of depression, the clouds do not only obscure happiness, they obscure your views of the future; they obscure your views on relationships with friends and family. Right now, you may not be able to see the sun on the horizon, but the black clouds will eventually dissolve to become nothing more than a memory.
But what is the cause of your feelings? Surely, while you may try to hide the truth, you know the reason. What do these emotions make you want to do? Hurt yourself? Scream at the top of your lungs? Or maybe even take your own life?
Listen to these words. Your life is beautiful. Despite how you may feel, never take your life for granted and harm yourself. You are not alone. You are cared for. I hope to help anyone feeling depressed or lost. All I want is to make one person realize their importance in the world.
The end of depression is coming. This is the beginning of acceptance.


Acceptance
Open your eyes, see the beauty
Darkness clears and the light now appears and reveals all the truth

You feel like you’ve been through hell and back, but you don’t understand why
You made the choice of having yourself feel out of place

All your pain has now subsided
Life regains the fire that creates the person that you are

You never believed you could escape from the harmful thoughts you had
But now you see the world with a smile that’s on your face

Now here’s the time you’ve been waiting for
The ending, the last chapter
Of all of this grief.